Sheer Idiocy
by C.D.Meiss
Summary: Axel dares Selixoe to do something stupid, but it doesn't turn out like he expected. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer:** I in no way own any characters mentioned in the story, excepting Selixoe. The others belong to Square Enix/Disney.

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Sheer Idiocy

"So, Sel. Rox and I have a _fantastic_ dare for you today!"

I rolled my eyes with the prior knowledge of Axel's definition of fantastic surfacing in my mind. "Oh, you do? Gee whiz, I can't wait!"

Thankfully, the abundance of sarcasm in that statement was not lost on the members of our lunch table.

"Come on, you're no fun," The redhead whined.

Roxas, pitying his best friend's pathetic dares, spoke up. "It really is a good one this time."

I sighed, sharing a look with Luxord across the table. He'd been friends with Axel and me the longest and was frequently the object of 45 percent of the clown's antics.

Waving his fork around and through a mouthful of mystery meat and pears, Xigbar sprayed, "Well, spit it out, Ax. Class starts in 15 minutes and I'd like to see this done before then."

Axel turned to glare at the senior before swiveling around to match his emerald gaze to mine.

"Ready then?"

"For Hearts' sake, YES!" I shouted, throwing my hands into the air.

He smirked. "You see that kid over there?" He pointed vaguely off to his right.

Following the trajectory of his finger, I inwardly groaned when I saw that he was gesturing to Marluxia Greenewood, senior and soon-to-be designer of his own clothing line. The talent that guy possessed for matching patterns and colors in a "fashionably acceptable" way really was incredible.

"Marluxia? What does he have to do with…this?" I flicked the zipper-pull on Axel's hoodie with irritation.

"I want you—" He stopped as Roxas elbowed him in the ribs. "Er, _we_ want you to go up to him and confess your love for him."

I was almost blinded by the ferocity of his grin.

Now, I'd known Axel Schraeder for about 5 years and followed through with his whims for only a year or two, so these ridiculous dares were not new to me. But now I was shocked. He'd never requested that I do something so ludicrous or humiliating before.

"You've _got _to be joking," Larxene drawled, leaning onto the tabletop. "I knew you were a moron, but I didn't know you were _that _much of an imbecile!"

"A-Axel," I spluttered, barely forming a sentence, "He's in with the Popular people. I sit with you all, and according to them, we're weird! We're just the art kids."

Next to me, Namine nodded vigorously in agreement as she looked up from her sketch book.

"I thought we were scene?" Luxord asked, referring to himself, Larxene, and Axel.

Xigbar shook his head. "As if. Everybody knows that we're skaters, right Rox?"

Roxas simply shrugged, taking a sip of his drink with an uncaring look.

Banging my head on the table in exasperation, I growled, "It doesn't matter, guys. I can't do this!"

They fell silent. Picking my now-aching skull up off the table, I felt Axel's gaze on me. He was just sitting there and staring at me expectantly with that annoying smirk plastered over his mouth.

"You know, if you fail to do this one, you'll break your streak," He muttered antagonistically.

Confused, Namine said softly, "Streak?"

"Yup," Roxas piped up, "she's done every single one of Axel's dares since the beginning of their sophomore year."

I nodded. It was true. Axel, Luxord, and I were all juniors now, and I'd been dared at least twice a week since the first day of school. I saw a lot of myself and Luxord in Roxas and Namine, seeing as they were sophomores at the moment. Granted, we weren't that short back then.

Larxene reached around Namine and prodded me in the back. "Then you know you gotta do it, Sel."

I waved her away. "Yeah, yeah...I know."

As I stood up I thought about how this dare might or might not kill me. I felt that I could literally keel over from embarrassment. Nevertheless, I hesitantly walked over to the rose-haired senior's table.

_Selixoe, you are a moron, _My head-voice told me. I already knew that.

There was an open seat to his left and I slipped a leg over it and straddled the bench, facing his side.

I could feel the heated glances and perfectly-plucked raised eyebrows boring into the side of my face as I tapped him on the shoulder.

When he turned to look at me in surprise, the whole group fell silent.

"Oh, hello," he said brightly, as if seeing some random girl sitting next to him was not abnormal. Well, not a _random_ girl, but I don't think he remembered that we had been lab partners in Biology two years ago.

"Uh, hi M-Marluxia…" I stuttered. The red haired girl on his other side—Kairi-the-Cruel we all called her—giggled. Marluxia must've noticed my distracted gaze as I stared past him because he looked around and batted a hand at her and her creepy friends.

"Go back to your gossiping. All of you."

I blinked at how curt he was with her and the lame way he'd covered up a remark that was obviously aimed solely at her. They'd had a…"thing" last fall that did NOT end well, and I'd assumed Kairi had gotten over it. Guess not.

He turned back to me with a smile and as I stared at a set of dark cobalt eyes I fought hard to keep from bolting. I suddenly decided that a blunt confession was the best way to die today.

"Marluxia, I've kept it a secret for a while, but I'm in love with you."

No, it was not romantic—it wasn't _supposed_ to be—but I tried to say it with the cutest and most lovey-dovey-est face I could pull. Which was hard, seeing as I hang out with a bunch of dudes and a girl who couldn't be romantic if she tried. Oh, and Namine, but she doesn't count yet. Anyway, as a response to the silence I was receiving, an uncharacteristic blush burnt its way across my face and I stood up to go.

Imagine my shock as he tugged me back down by the wrist.

He smiled a certain little smile I'd never noticed before (one that twisted my stomach into knots, actually) and leaned forward a bit, whispering conspiratorially like we'd been friends for our whole lives. "I know, love. Not very convincing, that confession—" Here he chuckled a little and took my hand. "—but I can tell you meant it. Maybe you'd like to go for coffee some day after school?"

I was still reeling inside from when he'd called me 'love'. Did I love him? Probably. I had _really_ liked him a few years ago, ever since he commented on the accuracy of one of my art pieces. I'd been going through a plant phase then, that's most likely why he even noticed me. We'd spoken a few pleasantries afterwards, but not much else. Nothing like _this._

My brain decided to snap me back into the present, and I remembered his last sentence. _Coffee…I drink that. _

I blinked several times. "U-uhm…C-Coffee's nice—" I began, but nothing else would come out.

Since when did I get this tongue-tied? Didn't I hang around Axel Schraeder, resident bad-boy heartthrob, for Hearts' sake?

Marluxia winked at me slightly. "Great. How about tomorrow?"

Tomorrow, tomorrow, my brain whirred to think of the stuff I usually did on Fridays with the gang. Suddenly, I didn't care. Trying to be as normal as possible, I gave a little smile and said, "Sure. Tomorrow."

He nodded, before kissing me lightly on the hand as I stood to leave. "Until then, Selixoe." Geez, that was almost too much to bear. Did he have to be such a gentleman?

It was all I could do not to fall over as the table erupted with chatter when I left.

Thankfully—I think—Luxord and Namine were there to catch me as I flumped clumsily down beside them.

Higher than a kite and about as giddy as a witch in a broom factory, it barely registered to my ears (which were still on fire and ringing with his voice) how disbelieving Axel seemed to be.

"It was a dare! I didn't know he was going to ask her out!" His distress being expressed to Roxas through wailing was hysterical.

On the other end, Larxene was whining to Xigbar—who was barely pretending to listen—about the love triangle that was never going to happen if Kairi-the-Cruel didn't get interested in Marluxia again. Oh, Larxene.

Even over here, I could hear the roar of the Populars, but I could almost sense the lofty smirk Marluxia threw them in return.

Shaking my head, I smiled.

Honestly, this school_**.**_

I mean, the _sheer idiocy_ of it all!

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**A/N:** Well then. This is really old, about two years old! The idea originally came from a sort-of similar fanfiction I had read about four years ago, but only the preliminary idea. Sadly, I don't remember what it was called. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little tid-bit! As always, Read, Review, and Enjoy.

_C.D.M._


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